Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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