Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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