yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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