those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
