Taylor Swift is so right about you.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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