walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
