Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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