okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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