the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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