The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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