i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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