dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
