How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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