So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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