I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
