I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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