The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
