she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
