it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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