If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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