plz talk dirty to me
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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