this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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