I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
