My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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