he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
