I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
