I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
