There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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