no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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