dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
