Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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