you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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