They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
