We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
