sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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