Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
did you just send me my own nude
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
