Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
