So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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