it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
