I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You ate ashes out of my bong
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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