Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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