I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You are the jesus of drinking
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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