I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
