But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
