just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
