it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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