Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
