she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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