i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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