I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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