It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
